My dilemma

I recently had a discussion with my friend about our displeasure with people being wasteful ( i.e., leaving lights on when they left the house, etc.) She stopped me in my tracks when she said, “Maybe we’re worse, because we know better.”
As I delve deeper into the topic of food ethics and learn about what my food has been through to get to my plate, I feel increasingly overwhelmed. I want to purchase food that doesn’t keep me up at night feeling guilty, but who am I kidding? I am a product of the 21st century. I like convenience; I’m lazy, and I’m busy. Everytime I think about the food I am buying, I find myself lost on what to purchase based on several factors: health, taste, convenience, and responsibility.
I don’t think the transition to responsible eating will be easy. I caught myself passing out fliers that said “Do you know where your food comes from?” and then buying a package of frozen strawberries in November. Sometimes I think I will move somewhere where I can work on a farm and completely live off of the food that I produce. I know this is not feasible in the long term. There is a serious problem with the food system in our country ( I can’t speak for other countries).Why should I feel that I would have to produce all of my own food in order to have the security that I am not eating an animal that was stuffed in a cage so small that it couldn’t turn around, or a piece of fruit that was picked by someone who wasn’t paid something even resembling living wage and then flown to me from across an ocean.
I cannot vouch that all of my food purchases are responsible. But for now, I am not eating red meat or poultry, and I try to buy local produce most of the time. Maybe I am worse, because I do know better, but at least I am trying.